12 Weeks 6 Days

The morning sickness is gone. I have more energy then i'm used to but still nothing to put that energy towards. Sam and i are done, it was a peaceful break up, basically we both just agreed that if we continued dating we would end up hating each other then any decision we would have to make for the baby would be made outta hate towards each other instead of love for our child. So we are putting that energy we would've used to be dating to maintain a positive friendship, so we can raise our child with love and peace.

8 Weeks 5 Days

Sam and I don't talk much anymore, he says he has stuff going on and he needs time to think. i'm trying to be understanding but its hard when he completely ignores the fact that im sitting alone at home pregnant.

I'm not going to wait around for him anymore, i only have seven more months left to become a mom, so thats where my focus lays.

Morning Sickness

Sorry I still don't know how far along i am... i will hopefully find out soon.

I broke up with Sam a few days ago. I called him that morning to see what time he was coming over and he blew up at me, and for hours he just yelled at me about things that i had nothing to do with, about things that were bothering him and he had no one else to blame, finally he said. "the bottom line is i don't have time for you or your bullshit drama!" Up until that point i had been crying my eyes out, but that, that was just hurtful. So i told him that it was fine, that i'd just take my "bull-shit drama" somewhere else and he could call me when he grows up.

Well i guess it didn't take him very long to grow up because within hours he called me saying that he'd do anything to fix this. But i didn't give in to him that easy, i wanted to but i didn't. I told him if he wanted me back he needed to prove to me that he was not only going to be there for me, but our child too.

We're taking it one day at a time, but things are getting better.

Although something bothered me the other day. He came over to talk and i had asked if he had told his family about the baby. He said no and that he wasn't planning to, EVER...... to me this seems like hes ashamed of me and our child, i don't see how he plans to support us for very long if he won't even tell his family....I don't know. What do you think?

All Love,
Ma Ma Mindi

Thank You Jason

I just want to post a special thanks to my good friend Jason Mc'Ghee for talking to me tonight.

My problems with Sam have been killing me tonight and him helping me through it has been great.

The hardest part bout this wasn't telling my Family, it was telling my friends and tonight you've eliminated that fear. Thank you.

All Love,
MaMa Mindi

Baby Daddy Drama

As soon as i find out how far along i am i'll start posting the weeks as my title.

I got a text from Sam a few minutes ago thats kinda left me a bit upset.

"I get off at 9 30 but i'm going to get DRUNNNKK!"

......What do i say to that??? I'm left alone all day trying to get ready for OUR baby, the one he won't even talk about and he's going out getting drunk with his stupid friends. Now i don't say "stupid friends" because I don't like them, i say it because they do drugs and get drunk in public places and become loud destructive and violent people. And Sam knows better, he knows he can do better but he cares too much about what these people think so he does this stupid shit, and yells at me when i get upset.

Before i just didn't want him getting hurt or arrested, but now we have a kid on the way and he just refuses to grow up. I can't have him around do these things and acting this way when the baby comes, its dangerous to both of them. Btu i'll have my hands full taking care of one child i can't handle taking care of two.

I don't know what to say to Sam to get him to stop all this shit and grow up. He's going to be a father soon. I don't know what to do.

HELP?

All Love,
MaMa Mindi

First Thoughts

Wednesday October 13th, 2010. The day I found out that i was to be a teenage mom. My name is Mindi, I'm 17 years old. I graduated from high school and college, but i still attend PCC looking for whats right for me, and when i found it BOOM! I become a mother.

I'm not upset by this. My mother was a teen mom too, so i have a lot of family support. But all the family in the world couldn't make up for a child's father. Sam. My baby daddy. He's a very smart sweet guy, but defiantly not ready to be a father. Nor does he want to be.

We've been dating almost 9 months now. When I told him i was pregnant he told me to get an abortion, that i was selfish for wanting to keep this kid, that he had just as much a say in this decision as i did and he isn't backing down. Well i'm not dumb. I know that even if he has an opinion it is MY decision and I choose to keep this baby. Abortion isn't something i could do, to myself or my child, especially knowing that i can take care of him/her.

Sam was extremely mad at me for making this decision, but it was mine to make. So know he just pretends like it doesn't exist. If we don't talk about it, it won't happen, and its driving me crazy! I told him that if he doesn't want to do this then he can leave otherwise he needs to be fully in this because my baby needs a real father not a half in half out father like the one I had. But he's too good a guy to leave, but still he won't talk about this baby. OUR baby. We've known two days and its already hard...

Any advice or prayers would be great.

All Love,

Mama Mindi